Life has been so busy lately! I feel completely drained. Most of that is due to the fact that work seems incredibly overwhelming, right now. I'm in the middle of report cards, science camp, crazy amounts of meetings, and middle school placements. All of that keeps me extremely busy, but it's not what is wearing me down.
My heart is so heavy with the things I am competing against, as a teacher. All I want for my students is to have an opportunity to be successful. Each of them has such great potential, but there is so much getting in the way. My partner teacher and I feel like we've lost control.
Some kids are bullying each other over text messaging, girls are hurting each other using gossip, boys are forming groups to go harass other boys about recess soccer happenings...and that's just the start of it. One of my students has a brother who is in a gang. Currently he's spending his time at juvenile hall. She can't make it through a day without crying.
We're doing everything we can. I have class meetings, every week. We scheduled a meeting with a probation officer. We're teaching an anti-drug/peer pressure program. I use every lunch and recess time to meet with students, so that they know I'm there for them.
How can I compete with this? It's not in my job description. I wasn't taught how to deal with this stuff. My main concern is that they learn the 1,345,345,789(ok, that's an exaggeration) standards that they need to be successful. Lately, that concern has shifted a little bit. If these things aren't taken care of, they will not learn a single thing. It doesn't matter how hard I try to teach them.
That being said, I turned to the only person I know who can do miracles, Jesus. So often I leave Him out of my job. I feel like I can control the things at work. Obviously, that is not the case. He is the only one who can change these kids, for the better, so that they can get out of this culture and be successful. So, today, I add another goal for 2011, praying for my students and their futures, daily.
Thanks to all of you who are still reading. That is real dedication. :)