Thankful

Yes, it's true...I still have a blog. It has been highly neglected, but it still exists.

I figured Thanksgiving time is as good of a time as any to re-start.

Here's some things I'm thankful for this year:

1) Jesus. Without him, there would be no reason to be thankful.

2) My family. It's been fun getting closer to my sisters this year. I always love coming home. My family is incredibly supportive. I am especially thankful for my mom's help this year.

3) My boyfriend, Steve. He is amazing, and the last few months have been the best. I love his humor, his love for sports(most of the time) and his love for Jesus, among lots of other things. I am incredibly blessed. :)

4) An awesome faith community. I can always count on them to be there for me, and we always have fun together. Church planting isn't always easy, but it has been an awesome adventure, so far.

4) My new job and y 97 6th graders. Yes, this job is a lot of work. Yes, it exhausts me. But those kids keep me going and laughing everyday. They're the greatest! I love middle school. I don't think I can ever go back to elementary. :)

5) My friends. 2011 has not been an easy one, in this area, but I'm thankful for my friends who love me, unconditionally. I am blessed to have a lot of amazing friends. :)

6) Great seasons for the Padres and the Chargers...umm...ok. Not so much this one. :)

Overall, 2011 has been great. I have amazing people in my life, a God that loves me, and I'm healthy (even if my car isn't:)

Steve and I are heading to San Diego for Thanksgiving. I am super excited to spend Thanksgiving at home for the first time in 4 years! I'll miss the Ghiorsos and turkey bowling, though. :

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hearing God

I have been thinking about this topic a lot, lately. I'm sure it is a topic that most Christians struggle with. In the last year or so, especially, I have struggled with what it means to hear God.

What are the different ways God can speak to us? After reading through some stories in the Bible, this is what I came up with: Through his actual voice, Through others, Through our heart and convinctions, dreams and visions, the Word, and in some cases, through angels.

There are some people who say that they hear God's voice, very clearly. That is awesome, but I'm not one of those people. When I pray for something specific, I end up overanalyzing everything, wondering if that's what God is using to speak to me.

For the most part, I think I rely on the convictions I feel about the situation. I also rely heavily on my friends. Although, if you ask some of them, I don't listen to them very often, either. ;) Then comes the ageless question, How do you know if that's what you want or what God wants? For example, I know exactly how my heart feels about some career and personal situations I have been praying about. Does that mean God has answered my questions in those areas? Not necessarily. Sometimes, it feels like God has spoken to me about something, and then something happens to change the situation, and I have to start all over.

What I desire, more than anything, is to glorify God with every decision, relationship or situation in my life. Because of this, I want to make sure that my decisions are God decisions, not Christal decisions. Unfortunately, it's not always that easy, right?

What I have learned, is that finding out what God's will is involves some risk taking. If you are willing to take a risk, and then God shuts the door or adds another door, that may be the way he answers. I have also learned that God may not want you to continue taking that risk if it is continually hurtful or if it creates situations that are not glorifying to Him. Where is that line drawn? Another answer I don't have. :)

So do I have an answer to my original question? Not at all, and luckily, I don't think anyone does...so I'm not the only one. All I can do it continue to give my life to God, and make sure I am taking the time to listen. Luckily, for us, God already knows what is going to happen, so we don't have control over anything, anyways...although we like to think we do! :)

1 Chronicles 16:10-11

¹⁰ Glory in his holy name;
let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice.
¹¹ Look to the LORD and his strength;
seek his face always.

How do you hear God?

Teacher of the Month

Ok, ok, Bobby is right. That last post was awfully depressing. It has been a long, hard year of teaching. Maybe my most difficult, since my first year. Last week, we went to science camp. Now that we are back, I can tell they really had a great time. It makes everything worth it. I love my job, and will take everything that is not in the job description!

In other news, I was selected as the teacher of the month for the Pajaro Valley Unified School District, for the month of March. It will be presented at a school board meeting and at a staff meeting. It is a huge honor, and I'm thankful for the timing of it. Sometimes, it is good to know that you are doing your job well.

Stay tuned for some science camp pictures... :)

Not in the job description...

I been getting some harassment from some readers for not updating my blog...maybe that should have been one of my goals for 2011?

Life has been so busy lately! I feel completely drained. Most of that is due to the fact that work seems incredibly overwhelming, right now. I'm in the middle of report cards, science camp, crazy amounts of meetings, and middle school placements. All of that keeps me extremely busy, but it's not what is wearing me down.

My heart is so heavy with the things I am competing against, as a teacher. All I want for my students is to have an opportunity to be successful. Each of them has such great potential, but there is so much getting in the way. My partner teacher and I feel like we've lost control.

Some kids are bullying each other over text messaging, girls are hurting each other using gossip, boys are forming groups to go harass other boys about recess soccer happenings...and that's just the start of it. One of my students has a brother who is in a gang. Currently he's spending his time at juvenile hall. She can't make it through a day without crying.

We're doing everything we can. I have class meetings, every week. We scheduled a meeting with a probation officer. We're teaching an anti-drug/peer pressure program. I use every lunch and recess time to meet with students, so that they know I'm there for them.

How can I compete with this? It's not in my job description. I wasn't taught how to deal with this stuff. My main concern is that they learn the 1,345,345,789(ok, that's an exaggeration) standards that they need to be successful. Lately, that concern has shifted a little bit. If these things aren't taken care of, they will not learn a single thing. It doesn't matter how hard I try to teach them.

That being said, I turned to the only person I know who can do miracles, Jesus. So often I leave Him out of my job. I feel like I can control the things at work. Obviously, that is not the case. He is the only one who can change these kids, for the better, so that they can get out of this culture and be successful. So, today, I add another goal for 2011, praying for my students and their futures, daily.

Thanks to all of you who are still reading. That is real dedication. :)

Goals for 2011

On Sunday, I went to my mom's church, which was also the church where I spent most of my elementary and junior high years. Only now, it's about 3-4 times the size it was then. I'll admit, it's taken me awhile to warm up to it again. They scored major brownie points by singing Glory to God that day, too.:) Anyways, the pastor encouraged us to write down some goals for 2011. I hate new year's resolutions, they are always things that you never stick to. Over the years, I have become a goal oriented person. Maybe it's all the goal setting you do in teaching? I need something to reach for, or I won't be motivated.

Did you know only 5% of Americans write down their goals? These 5% are also the Americans with the highest salary. Not that that is why I'm doing it, just a random, interesting fact. :)

Here's some goals I'd like to reach in 2011:

1) Be in the Word, daily. Get up 30 min earlier to do so.

2) Pray for the Middle East.

3) Meet around 5 new people, a month.

4) Get closer to my goal weight.

5) Work out at least 5 times a week.

6) Stick to a monthly budget.

7) Be better about sending cards, letters, aka keeping in touch

8) Work LESS.

Feel free to ask me how these things are going this year! Happy New Year!

Heartbreaking

I'm not usually one to write super serious blogs, but as I read the newspaper today(skipping over the horrible articles about the Chargers), I came upon an article about something that happened in Egypt, this morning. This article gives a pretty detailed account. I'll be the first to admit that I'm horrible at keeping up on current events. I just don't make time for it. Lately, I have been feeling convicted about it. How can I be praying for things, if I don't know they're happening? I have a huge heart for missions and for other countries, in general. This year, I want to be better about keeping up on events that are affecting people's daily lives, in other countries.

That being said, my first reaction was, why did the Christians attack the muslims? As if Christians don't already have a bad reputation with those things. The "Christian-y" thing to do would have been to go on and show them they didn't shake you. BUT as I thought longer, I wondered what I would have done if one of my loved ones was one of the 21 who was killed by yet another suicide bomber. I can't say I would have reacted in any other way. As I continued reading, I realized how heartbroken I was over this.

I'm saddened that Egyptian Christians had to cancel their Christmas celebrations because they were afraid of terrorists. It breaks my heart that some extremist Muslims believe this is the way to please their god. At some point, the Islamic leaders will have to condemn these attacks, or they will continue. I fear that that will never happen.

Even though the terror of 9/11 is not as visible in America anymore, it is more than real in other places. I don't really like New Years resolutions, because they are generally things you can't keep. After reading this, I did decide that in 2011, I am going to try to be more aware of what is going on in the world, so that I can be praying for God to change it. He is the greatest hope we have.

Peace out 2010

I've been seeing a pattern on facebook today. 2010 was not the most favorite year of all time. I'll admit, I'm not sad to see 2010 go. It has not been my favorite year, and it has been a rough year for many people that I love. But, I am here, and I have an awesome God who loves me no matter what, the most amazing church community, friends and family a girl could ask for. I still have all of those things at the end of 2010, so it couldn't have been that bad! 2010 was actually full of personal accomplishments. 2 triathlons, a half marathon and a loss of 50 lbs!(ok more like 40 after the holidays, but still..)So, I had fun taking some time to look back at some pictures of awesome things that happened in 2010. God is good and I'm looking forward to 2011!

(notice special teams is not included in this photo)

Music Video

Christy's brothers, Nathan and Tim, are hilarious and awesome at making music videos. The night before the wedding, they put on their tuxes and wondered around the hotel shooting scenes for their next music video. Christy, Amy and I found these awesome leopard print robes in the closet at the hotel. We decided to join in on the fun. Had to share because, well, it's pretty stinkin hilarious. Or maybe it's only funny to us...

Wedding Weekend

This weekend was Christy and Zach's wedding! Hard to believe it has already come and gone! It was a lot of fun. I enjoyed being a part of it and being able to spend time with friends I don't see often! Enjoy some pictures from the weekend!

Let's pause for a story about this. My car was parked in front of Christy's house on Friday. We were all inside getting ready for the rehearsal dinner. Some kid(still not sure he was old enough to drive, and didn't have proof of a license) hydroplaned at a pretty fast speed and hit my car. My fender and passenger side door took a good beating. I drove it to the driveway, and it's definitely not safe to drive back over the 17. So, I'm carless until after Christmas. Because it's cheaper than I rental car, I now have to fly home for Christmas. It's just frustrating to have to change all of my plans, AND have to figure out how to get to work the next 3 days. Yes, you heard right, I'm still at work until Wednesday. Ridiculous, I know. Also frustrating is the fact that the car was not insured. Of course it wouldn't be, because that would actually make something easier. Anyways, not a fun start to the weekend.

A little piece of Radcliff...

“Teaching should be such that what is offered is perceived as a valuable gift and not as a hard duty.” --Albert Einstein

My first 2 years of teaching were some of the hardest months of my life. There are a few people who were there from the beginning, and helped me become the teacher I am today. Without them, I'm not sure I would have the same outlook on the education world.

Two of those people are Cynthia and Marina. These wonderful ladies were the New Teacher Project Mentors at Radcliff (when there were still new teachers! :) Cynthia was my "official" mentor teacher, but they both helped all of the teachers at Radcliff. Both of them became mentors, friends and both had a huge impact on my life.

Cynthia spent countless hours helping me set my room up (the day before school started!), coached me through teaching a bilingual class, and always reminded me about the real reasons I was in the profession. The day I finished new teacher project was a bittersweet day. I treasure those 2 years, and everything I learned.

Although Marina wasn't my official mentor teacher, I felt like I was lucky enough to have two! She was always at Radcliff, and we would always stop to chat and catch up. If she was working in her office, I would always sit down to run ideas by her or update her on my life. She was always, always interested in everything I was doing. She offered to model lessons or sit with me to make a lesson more interactive. Mostly, I always appreciated how she always had the time to talk or listen to me vent, no matter how busy she was.

She was an amazing teacher, and we were all thankful to be able to get some of those ideas and skills passed onto us! The Albert Einstein quote above always reminds me of Marina. She always taught as if everyday with us and our students was a gift. She was great at reminding us of the valuable gift we were given, and always encouraged us to use it to empower our little community.

Today, our little Radcliff community lost Marina, to cancer. It was a long, hard fight. She was strong and fought it for many months. Although we miss her, it is good to know that she isn't feeling pain anymore. My heart is heavy today, as Radcliff felt a little empty today. Yet, while I spent the day remembering her, all I could think about was how I felt encouraged to push through the budget cuts, the frustrations, and the lack resources and just remember that teaching is not just a job. It is a gift. When we enjoy teaching, our students learn more. Marina wouldn't have it any other way.

Another year...

Tomorrow is the big 2-6. My 25th year of life has been filled of learning experiences, to say the least. I've taken major risks, started a new church adventure with 4 other people, completed 2 triathlons and a half marathon, lost 50 pounds, started my 5th year of teaching, experienced hurt and learned about guarding my heart, experienced a ton of joy, made lots of new friends, watched the Chargers give up the most blocked punts EVER, traveled to India, and most importantly, learned more about God, through all of it.

I think this was definitely my verse for the year. It kept coming up, over and over. I'm so thankful for the peace of God, which transcends all understanding. Overall, it has been a great year. I'm surrounded by amazing people, and I am blessed!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -Phillipians 4:6-7

My mom sent me a birthday card today. It might seem extra, extra corny to all of you, and I was already a little more emotional than normal today, but this card had me in tears. She called and said she thought it described me perfectly. It was exactly what I needed to read today. Thanks mom!:)

To My Daughter:

Sometimes I get so caught up in being your Mom--

still trying to look out for you and worrying about every little thing--

that I don't take time to tell you what you deserve to hear.

I'm amazed by you with everything you've accomplished,

and how busy you are everyday,

you're still one of the kindest, most thoughtful people I know.

I'm inspired by you--

your courage, your ambition, the way you look at life,

Even when things are challenging, you keep your positive attitude.

I'm proud of you and always have been.

You know exactly who you are and you do a beautiful job of expressing it.

I love watching you be "you."

Day 31

Day 31 A photo of you and someone who should have been your twin

As requested, I added a day to the 30 day challenge. This is someone who I refer to as my twin (we called each other that after seeing that our movie collections were almost identical). Her name is Jen. Jen was one of my first friends in Santa Cruz, when we were in a bible study together. 5 years later, our friendship is still going strong. We try to meet for coffee a few times a month. A twin coffee meeting is never complete with out Elf and Dumb and Dumber quotes. This girl is quality, and I can always count on her to be there for me. She's the best.

Day 29 and 30

Day 29--A photo of someone you find attractive

This was a hard one, lol. And this is not his best picture...but do you know how hard it is to find a picture of this guy in a Padres uniform?! That's what happens when you play for the dodgers, giants, rockies and diamondbacks. And you know I can't post him wearing any of those uniforms. :)

Day 30--A photo of a time when you were happy

Finishing my first triathlon. Lots of happiness in that one. :)

The photo challenge is over! Was fun, but too much work. Time to find something else to blog about...

Day 28

A photo of something you ate today

Chipotle salmon wrap..mmm. Totally forgot to take a picture with my phone. Oh well. Oh, and the company was pretty awesome too! :)

Day 27

Day 27 A photo from last summer

Day 26

A photo of your favorite weekend

I love, love, love New York City. I have always wanted to try living there for a year. My old roommate, Graciela, and I went to NYC for 4 days. It was one of my favorite vacations, ever. We went to see Hairspray, and ended up seeing Grease also. We pretty much saw all there is to see there, in 3 days. So fun!

Day 25

A photo of a night you loved

Cal Poly girls reunion, 2009. Every year, I look forward to getting together with these girls. Sarah, Michelle, Lesley, and Kristina(not pictured :( were some of my closest friends in college. I was blessed with an amazing roommate(Sarah, on the right) my freshman year. I love that we still make time to get together, and catch up with each other. This was in May of last year, I went to Sactown for the weekend, and we hung out all weekend. This was a super fun night, and hilarious, for only reasons they would know. Still makes me laugh remembering it. :)

Day 24

A photo of you that your hair looks nice in

I already used my best hair photo in the photo challenge...so here's a different one. This is the spring break family photo shoot. I keep thinking I want to cut my hair that short again, but I'm actually enjoying how long it is. Plus, if you remember this post, I'm hoping to donate it in the near future!

I feel like I have a lot on my mind, and that I could write a much deeper post, but instead I'll stick with that. :) Oh and I skipped day 23, it was lame.

Day 22

A photo of your town

Really? Posting a picture of Felton would be way boring. Here's out super, super cute house at Mt. Hermon. It's so fun and Christmasy right now, too. It's a super long drive to work, but I do love the Herm.

I spend most of my time in Santa Cruz, though (well, when I'm not at work). Here's one of my favorite pictures of the harbor!

Day 21

A photo of you standing up

I hate looking back at this picture, lol..but I do love these girls. :)